Wham, Bam, Alakazam!
by FenrirChained
Summary: ONESHOT! Benny is enjoying a night in the Tops Casino, But somebody is staring him down at the bar. This is my first posted fanfic.


It was another glorious night on The Strip, and Benny, Head Chairman of the Tops Casino, was living it up; cigarette in one hand and a tall glass of wine spiked with a little dash of "Vegas" in the other. He had just dodged a shindig at the Aces and instead went to partake in his favorite pastime, watching the tables. Benny loved seeing the life of the Strip before his eyes; the gamblers pouring their lifeblood into the table, the whores seducing their next client, drunks spending the last of their caps for watered down booze. Vegas right in front of Benny's eyes.

It was the life he dreamt about, the life he loved, and his future was in his pocket, so to speak. The Platinum Chip, the one he killed that courier for near Goodsprings, it was the key for something that House was planning. Benny didn't want House to have that power. No, he was quite pleased with taking it for himself, and the seeds of his plan were already sprouting into play. Now he just needed to go to House's bunker and use the chip to activate it. Problem was, Caesar's Legion set up their base of operations right on top. But little did Benny know, those were the least of his problems.

He had been watching the casino floor for about twenty minutes, watching some whore try to pick up a stranger who just wasn't having it. Benny chuckled to himself about the stranger's perseverance, then studied the man. He was shrouded in a poncho for the most part. Benny didn't like that, people who try to be hidden tend to cause problems or smuggle weapons. But then, eerily, Benny felt like he was staring at him behind the dusty cowboy hat he had on. Benny watched as the stranger ordered a double shot of whiskey and then watched him lean over the bar, pointing at the bartender who promptly poured two more shots. Benny believed he heard, "Give me the rest of the damn whiskey!"

Who was this bonafide badass? Benny reached into the inner pocket of his plaid suit to fish out his silver cigarette case. As he did, he noticed the stranger had removed himself from his stool at the bar and was walking past the slots and the tables, not breaking eye contact with Benny. Benny quickly looked away and opened his cigarette case, picking one out. He then patted himself down for a light, trying to ignore the stranger.

"Need a light?" A rough voice said behind Benny.

Benny turned around slowly to face the stranger, "Yeah, thanks baby. Way to help a cat out."

The stranger reached a hand into his poncho and produced a silver zippo, opened it then flicked the flint wheel. Benny leaned in to light up and as he did he noticed the zippo matched his cigarette case. He felt his stomach drop. Just like the one he gave the Khans that helped him intercept that courier. The stranger closed the zippo, put it back in his poncho, then reached up and removed his hat and laid it on a near banister. Benny knew the face, he still remembered the look on it right before he pulled the trigger.

The Courier pointed at the spot the zippo was under his poncho, "A keepsake, you understand, right?"

Benny could only smile, "Well baby, where do we go now?"

The Courier smiled and casually opened his poncho and revealed a .44 Magnum, "I think I'm gonna blow your fucking head off, Benny."

Benny threw his arms up, "Whoa now! Lets not get hasty now, dig?"

"Give me one reason!" He said grimly.

Benny mentally fumbled his options, "Look babe, I really must applaud you coming this far and the surviving death thing."

"Maybe you've been too busy counting caps to realize you can't aim for dick," The Courier interrupted.

"Awww, thats so sweet of you to point out," Benny shot back, "But I don't think you realize that if you even move that hand cannon you smuggled past security, my heavily armed bodyguards will put a hole right next to the one I gave you."

Benny hoped intimidation would work, he almost killed the guy once, hopefully he didn't have some sort of deathwish. But the Courier kept his hand on his gun only shaking his head, "Really, Benny? You honestly think I would come in here without some plan?"

Benny felt sick, "Explain, baby, explain."

The Courier motioned to the bar, "See that little cowgirl downing your overpriced watered down whiskey like a waster with water? Well, she's packing. Then," The Courier said pointing to a young girl in a brown hood and power armor talking with a waitress, "She doesn't need a gun to fuck up your bodyguards. Not to mention him," The Courier said pointing with his thumb to a stern man wearing a red beret and sunglasses by the door, "I don't even want to tell you what he will do to you. He's seen things."

Benny smiled, "I like your spirit baby, but three honchos protecting you isn't much."

"Well, you interrupted me before I could mention the Eyebot, Cyberdog, and Nightkin patroling outside if you try to escape."

Benny tugged on the collar of his undershirt, "And I bet the Wright Family already has a hole dug with my name on it? Am I getting close, doll?"

The Courier smiled, "Now Benny, I'm good, but not that good. Just a couple cybers, and a crazed Nightkin who thinks I'm her grandson."

"You've got to be fucking yanking me."

"Not in the slightest."

Benny now begain to weigh his options. He could make a bolt for the door and hope for the best, or try have a shoot out right here. After all, Benny never went anywhere without his woman. Maria, Benny's 9mm, the only woman to hold his heart. If he could distract the punk long enough, he might be able to sneak one off right between the fucker's eyes. This asshole was going to die tonight. Again.

"Listen babe," Benny rambled, "we can either go wild mojave right here or, we can take a seat, order some drinks, good drinks mind you, and try and make some kind of deal? Hmmm?"

The two had a sort of stare down; the Courier's hand never left his holstier, and to Benny's joy, a member of his security squad approached the rivals.

"Mr. Chairman," the Grunt butted, "do you need some sort of assistance, sir?"

Benny sighed with relief, "No, my good man. We were just about to head to the V.I.P. Room, but do send some of that marvelous 2047 merlott."

"I don't drink that shit," the Courier rasped, "bring me a bottle, and you notice, I said bottle, of your best whiskey. I think I just might join Mr. Chairman afterall."

The grunt looked at Benny and raised an eyebrow. Benny quickly shook his head, "Bring our guest whatever he asks, dig?"

The grunt shot a glare at the Courier and briskly walked away. Benny motioned down the hall, and the Courier retrieved his hat from the banister and motioned for Benny to lead.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck," Benny thought as he walked the empty hall to the V.I.P. Room with his would-be killer at his back.

Going to the V.I.P. was fine, but it was kind of a kick to the nuts when you and your would-be killer were the only V.I.P.s. Fucking greed, fucking pride! Benny always thought these would be the makers of his undoing. He couldn't feel the Courier's gun barrel, but he knew it was there. Why else would he agree to this, obviously he had no sense of charisma and probably couldn't comprehend a deal, and Benny knew it wasn't for the free booze. So, for all intents and purposes, Benny was screwed.

Benny unlocked the door and motioned for his guest to enter, but only got a disapproving glare. The Courier leaned in to Benny and got in his face. Benny could literally smell the wasteland and toxic Mojave wind on this guy.

"Benny," the Courier mocked, "you don't know this, but I have been staking this place out. I know you keep a gun on you at all times and I'm not going to get shot by you again. So get the fuck in that room, dig?"

Now Benny was grinding his teeth. This guy was like the guru of not dying, the jig was up; time to come clean. He entered the room but not with his usual confidence, no, Benny was slumped in shame and humiliation. He could feel the tension and thought the bullet was coming any second. A .44 Magnum, that was a powerful gun, probably the most powerful a waster could find; and tonight, Benny was not feeling lucky.

Benny quickly scurried to a fine sofa. He made it there at least, and his captor followed and sat directly across from him. He removed his gun from it's holstier and tucked it under his poncho. Benny knew it was still pointed at him.

"So," Benny broke the ice, "what now, doll?"

The Courier scowled, "First, we are going to wait for your goon to bring our drinks. Second, you are going to lock that door from the inside as soon as he leaves, and then finally I will make my demands. And if you're a good boy, I might hear yours."

"I think I can live with that babe, and might I add, I love your style. The whole Badass of the Wastes persona, true class."

For the first time, Benny saw the Courier grin. They waited in silence for a few minutes for their drinks to arrive. After Benny's lackys came with their drinks, Benny did as the Courier asked and locked the door behind them. Benny noticed the Courier was eyeing the seal on his bottle of whiskey, Benny walked over and snatched the bottle from his grasp, opened it, took a swig and passed it back. The Courier seized the bottle and drank from it as well and motioned for Benny to take a seat.

"Alright," the Courier said, "guns on the table."

He put his magnum on the coffee table in between them and Benny removed his woman, his Maria, from it's holstier in his suit and placed her on the table. Benny noticed the Courier admire her, that bastard, and Benny felt sick.

"May I?" The Courier said motioning towards Benny's woman.

Benny looked away and felt sick, but he nodded, and the Courier picked up the pistol and marveled at the weapon.

"Such a beautiful weapon," the Courier commented, "I'm sure such a beauty has a name?"

"Maria," Benny spat.

The Courier laughed, "A worthy title, hows her kiss?"

"You should know," Benny snapped, "you felt it before, most never comeback for more!"

The Courier burst forward at Benny and shoved Maria's barrel right into Benny's balls, "How bout you let me know how good she gives head!"

"Fuck off man," Benny said in panic, "I thought you wanted to just talk?"

"I do, but you're making it really hard. You see, when you talk... I just want you to shut up." The Courier said.

"Okay, okay," Benny said still in panic, "just please don't shoot me in the balls, please man, its just not cool, dig?"

The Courier smiled and backed off leaving Benny massaging his, now free, balls. "Well holy shit, I think your starting to understand."

Benny nodded and reached for his own bottle and drank deep, and the Courier begain his speech.

"First off, the Platinum Chip is coming with me."

Benny groaned, "Shit, I you don't mind me asking babe? What good is it to you?"

The Courier shurgged, "Mr. House is paying double the original price and threw in a pad, figure I knda owe it to him."

Benny slapped his hand to his face, "Seriously babe? You just want a job well done of all things?"

"Well the fact that you knocked me out cold, had your Khans, who are dead by the way, shank me, strip me, make me watch as they dug my shallow grave, and then you shot me in the head and left me to die, kind of adds a lot of sting to our current relationship right now!" The Courier bellowed, Benny could see his face was red with anger underneath all the dirt on his face.

"Look," Benny timidly cooed, "I'm sorry about what happened."

"Fuck you!"

Benny tilted his head, "But you know the way of the wastes, I used to be a tribal, believe it or not, and it's something that was burned into my being, dig? Now, what I am about to offer is once in a lifetime, I am willing to pay you triple what the origninal price was."

The Courier shook his head, "Look Benny, it's not about the caps now. Besides Veronica has been rigging your slots all week, I have more than enough of your caps Benny but thanks for the offer."

Benny knew it when he fist saw him sitting at the bar, bonafide badass. Benny wiped the sweat from his brow and stomped on the floor, "Then why are we doing this!"

"Because I don't trust House, and I definatly don't trust you, so I for once would like to be in control of the situation."

Benny brust out laughing, "Well baby, you're rocking this shindig!"

The Courier started laughing as well, "I know, and it feels awesome!"

The two laughed for a moment and caught their breath. The Courier looked at Benny, "Fuck man, why did you have to try and kill me? I kind of like your style."

Benny smiled back with a lie, he had a plan to get out of this, "I know, I could have used a cat like you, but maybe all is not lost?"

"Really?" The Courier said.

"Yes.

"Well," the Courier said sarcasticly, "I must hear this, do go on."

Benny now felt his options were, again, bleak, but fuck it. If he was going to die it wasn't going to be without a fight.

"Well do you know what House is planing at least?" Benny half pleaded.

"Not really, no reason to care I don't think."

"Well long story short he is going to take control of Vegas."

The Courier threw up his arms, "Does he not alreadly?"

"Well yeah," Benny agreed, "if I get it, I can make The Strip independent from all incoming factions, NCR included."

"Bullshit," The Courier laughed.

"Just believe baby, believe," Benny said distraught.

"I do Benny, but I have to tell you, I am leaving with that chip now and it might not end up with House, or I may say screw it and cash in, but you are on going to keep it. Now," The Courier sighed, "where is that fucking chip?"

Benny flinched. The chip was in a small pocket on the inside of his suit jacket, maybe he might miss it?

"It's in a safe in my office, but only I can access that floor, dig," Benny tried one last time to escape.

"Why can only you access it?"

"I have robotic protection programed to attack anybody but me," Benny lied, "Securtrons, Gutsys, if you kill even one Securtron all active ones in New Vegas will list you as public enemy number one."

The Courier bit his thumb, "Fuck, you're right."

Bingo!

"Go get it and bring it back here! You have five minutes before me and my companions come hunting you."

Benny nodded and looked towards his woman, and the Courier shook his head, "You get her when you get back. I would never let a man die without a gun in his hand."

Benny frowned, "Leaving a classy cat like me without a gun and his woman in a place like this, bad taste, dig?"

The Courier looked strangely at Benny, and Benny started to back away. Then he felt it. He looked down and saw the blade was dug about two inches into his right thigh. The Courier smiled, "Don't worry Benny, I won't kill you with a knife, I'm not a sicko."

The Courier twisted the blade a little and Benny moaned in pain, dark blood staining his trousers. The knife was then pulled out and Benny gasped. The knife in question was a standard pre-war issued combat knife, but it was modified by adding spiked knuckles to the hilt with duct taped and a little welding. The Courier held the makeshift trench knife up to Benny's face, "Thats so you won't forget to comeback."

"Gotcha, babe! Good call." Benny gasped.

"Now go, hurry!"

Benny unlocked the door and limped out of the room. His security was already outside the room. Benny grabbed the chief and demanded that everyone there give him all thier Stealth-Boys. Benny had somehow made it out alive and he was going to sneak the fuck out of the Strip and head to Caesar's Base and get the plan in motion. In some sick way, this all worked out in his favor probably, now he had a push.

Out of the ten present officers Benny managed to claim twenty stealth boys, he was given a small pack and three canteens of pure water. When asked about his bloody leg, Benny said wait five minutes and get ready for a fight. He then activated a stealth boy and took off.

As he made it to the gate leaving the Strip he heard the sound of gunfire in the distance behind him. He stopped and remembered that those men had been with him since he was a kid picking his first scraps with raider's kids. Benny would miss them, he knew they would die, that Courier ment business. He would kill them, find Benny and kill him too, but maybe he could even the odds before then. Afterall, he still had the Platinum Chip.


End file.
